Can a non-Pakistani wear a shalwar kameez?

When it is welcome, and when to think again

Hosts who invite you to a mehndi or a wedding generally hope you will dress for it, and many will offer to lend you an outfit or help you choose one. The same is true of Eid lunches, dinners and trips to Pakistan, where a cotton suit is simply the most comfortable thing to wear in the heat.

The line is between wearing the clothes and dressing up as someone. A shalwar kameez worn to a friend’s celebration is clothing. The same outfit worn as fancy dress or for a joke is not, and that is where offence starts. If you are unsure, ask your host what they would like you to wear. The question itself is usually appreciated.

Choosing a first outfit: cut, length and trousers

Keep the first one simple. These choices are the easiest to wear well.

• Cut: a straight or gently A-line kameez is forgiving and suits almost every figure. Our comparison of A-line and straight kameez shows the difference.
• Length: somewhere between the knee and mid-calf. Shorter reads as casual; floor length takes practice on stairs. See kameez length for your height.
• Trousers: straight trousers feel familiar if you normally wear Western clothes. A shalwar is roomier, gathered at the waist on a drawstring, and very comfortable once tied firmly. The trouser styles page shows each shape.
• Sleeves and neckline: three-quarter or full sleeves and a modest neckline suit almost any gathering, including ones with older relatives present.
• Fabric: cotton for daytime and warm weather, something with a soft sheen for an evening event.

What to do with the dupatta

The dupatta is the long scarf that turns a suit into a three-piece. For a wedding or Eid, take it: it finishes the outfit, and it is useful if a prayer is said or you step into a mosque. The two simplest ways to wear it are over one shoulder with the end hanging down the front, or across the chest with both ends thrown back over the shoulders.

You are not expected to cover your head at a party. During a prayer, a nikkah ceremony or a visit to a mosque many women do, so glance at the women around you and do as they do. A pin at the shoulder stops a slippery dupatta sliding off all evening. Our dupatta styling guide has more ways to drape it.

How dressed up to go

Pakistani events run dressier than most Western ones, and guests are expected to enjoy colour. Our guide to wedding guest outfits for every event goes through a full wedding week; in short:

• Mehndi: bright and playful. Yellows, greens, oranges and pinks, with room to dance and to sit on the floor.
• Wedding day and walima: the dressiest events. Rich colours or pastels with embroidery are normal for guests. Many guests avoid bright red on the main wedding day, since it is the colour brides traditionally wear.
• Eid lunch or dinner: a neat suit with light embroidery; our Eid page shows the level.
• Dinner at someone’s home: a plain or printed kurta with trousers is plenty.

Having one made to your measurements

Ready-made suits are cut to size charts that may not match your height or frame, and sleeve and trouser lengths are the usual casualties. A made-to-measure suit avoids that. Through our custom stitching service an outfit is made in Pakistan to the measurements you send and shipped to you; everything is arranged online.

When you send a design or a reference photo, say which event it is for and give three choices: the fabric you have in mind, the embroidery level (delicate, detailed or statement) and the kameez length. Making takes 5 to 7 working days from approval and full payment, with shipping time on top, so start as soon as the invitation arrives.